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When I get done clearing the pipes, my mind often meanders over to my fans. I feel terrible for you fucks. Not because you guys never get to bone sluts, or because your existence is so pathetic and desolate, although those things are undoubtedly true. It’s because you’ll never know what it’s like to be me jerking off.


Masturbation Master

My name is The fucking Porndude, goddamnit. How great do you think I am at choking the chicken? If you guessed I’m a meat-beating shaman, you are one hundred percent correct. No one knows how to please their manhood better than I do. Listen, I still dick whores down. I do it all the damn time. But honestly, my hand feels better than pussy. It doesn’t look as attractive, but it performs better than any gash ever could.



If I gave you guys a handjob, the rest of your lives would be consumed by begging me for another go around. I’m sorry, friends, but it’s not going to happen. This hand is going in the coffin, with only one notch on its bedpost.


However, there is a method you can take advantage of that will provide an HJ that’s nearly as good as mine. The only thing is, you’ll have to be self-aware and truthful with yourself. I know self-awareness is not in my readers’ wheelhouse. You fucks all live in the fantasy world of your choosing.


I have a frankness quiz for you. It’s not about your honesty to me, your family, your friends, or humanity as a whole. It tests your willingness to speak truth to yourself. What are the first things that come to mind when you think of full-service massages? Give yourself a second to really mull it over.


Do you have a guess? Did you say Asians? If not, you are done fucked up. You are a veteran of self-deceit. It’s no shock. My fans only manage to get out of bed in the morning due to an intricately crafted web of lies. Otherwise, the overwhelming weight of your own inadequacy would be too strong for you to battle against.


However, I’m fully aware that you guys are fucking pussies. You don’t have the balls to enter a full-service massage parlor and ask for the daily special. You’d stutter and stammer like a third grader with a speech impediment.


I can picture it now. You wouldn’t last ten seconds in the lobby. You’d run out of the building crying while cradling the saddest erection man has ever seen.


While you guys may never stifle your fears and seek out a handy, you can watch Asian porn on Fun Love. Asian porn isn’t all these guys do, but it’s definitely their specialty.


Passion fo No Limits Fun

There are three things I love in life—porn, porno, and pornography. I am not a complicated creature. I have yet to meet porn I won’t bust a nut to. Siamese twins connected at the hip, masturbating with an electric pencil sharpener? Done it. A man shoved into a backpack while his exposed penis gets rubbed down with a cotton belt sander? I did it yesterday. A murder of crows roosting in a Scandinavian farmer’s anus while his wife cooks mac and cheese in a butcher’s smock? I’m doing that right now.



While nothing is out of the realm of possibility for me, I have formed favorites over my tenure as a masturbation addict—things like oil porn, nuru massage, and amateur teens. Not everything I beat off to is some wild niche shit. I’m a man of many passions. Nothing escapes my eyes, hands, and penis.


My top ten list has varied a lot over my time on Earth, but one thing that’s never failed me is Asians. That’s why I spend so much time on Fun Love. First, our brothers to the east know how to shoot a fine fucking porn. Second, since they first entered the porn industry, Asia has completely changed the porn game. Shit, the West had never even thought of was mastered by countries like China, Japan, and Korea. What a wonderful time to be alive.


Asian Shop Vacs

If you are a regular reader of my reviews, you already know how much I adore tight little Asian bodies. The vaginas are barely big enough for a dick, and they extract cum from the balls like a shop vac. What would we do without all these fuckable Asian Sluts?



Thanks to websites like Fun Love, I’ll never have to find out. Fun Love knows what pervs want, and they have everything they need. What do men want? They want to see gorgeous Asian gash being destroyed by wang, of course.



Fun Love has a fairly classic tube site design all my readers will find familiar. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Tube sites are an efficient and enjoyable way to pack as much porn onto a site as possible. That’s why they’re so popular. Most porn sites released these days have a tube design. Thanks, YouTube and PornHub.



The main menu runs along the top and includes the options Home, Search bar, Home, Movies, Categories, Pornstars, and a link to your favorite porn review specialist.


Content on the front page is split into five sections: Newest movies, Popular, Suggested videos, Top viewed, and Top liked. Some of the most searched categories on Fun Love are Big tits, Group sex, Cum shot, Big cock, Doggy style, Creampie, Sexy legs, Taiwan adult video, Amateur, and Breasts.


As you explore the front page, you’ll find that the only non-Asian bitches are in the “newest movie” category. Fun Love puts the shit up, but it’s not the main course people look for when they come.


Fun Love has an excellent stable of porn stars at their disposal. That’s where they get the bulk of their white chicks’ content. If you somehow get bored of Asian sluts you can check out ladies like Victoria Summers, Mary Popiense, and Skylar Storm.


The Good Stuff

Let’s check out some of the content on Fun Love starting with “If You Slip Down the Underwear of a Minimum Girl Who is Lovely Like a Small Animal.” Petite bitches are a common theme on Fun Love, as it is with a lot of Asian porn. Asian appreciates a tiny bitch with a vice grip pussy. So do I, Asia. So do I.



The stunt cock takes full advantage of this little whore. He puts that pussy through its paces, and she loves it. This bitch’s face is so sexy; I don’t even care what her body looks like. But fortunately, her body is every bit as sexy as her face. This chick wouldn’t even know what to do if I fucked her.


Next up, we have “Natsuki’s White Leotard Was an Angel.” Leotards don’t get enough love in the porn world. Considering how sexy they are, I’m surprised I don’t see them everywhere.


I could stare at this cunt in her leotard all day. The white fabric is just opaque enough for me to see her nipples. They are perfectly sized for her medium-small tits. I’d suck on those bad boys until my lips were chapped.


While many Asian sluts have smaller tits, such is not the case for the star of “E-Cup Beautiful Milk Rocket Boobs Titty Fuck is the Strongest.” This bitch has some serious bazongas on her. I’d She could drown a weaker man in titty meat.


Titty fucking doesn’t get genuinely fantastic until a bitch has D-cups. C-cups will do the trick, but D is where it’s at. That is unless you have E- cup tits. Then that’s even more where it’s at.


It feels like having your cock massaged by a cloud. You’d be shocked at how quickly you cum. I don’t even try to hold it in when I’m titty fucking E-cups and up. I just let the baby batter fly.


Of course, there is no lack of squirting content on Fun Love. Asian bitches love squirting. They can’t get enough. Check out “Massive Squirting Dripping Sexual Intercourse.” This shy little slut is a little embarrassed by how much she squirts. I’d love to quell her fears by making her squirt so hard she forgets who she is. You can’t be embarrassed if you’re not sure you exist or not.


Fun Love has an incredible selection of Asian porn that will have your penis enthralled for hours. The tube design makes navigation a breeze, and there’s more than enough content to keep you busy for weeks.


My only issue with Fun Love is that some videos had trouble loading. Something tells me it’s a temporary problem, but it’s not fun.


If you guys don’t get a HJ from a full-service massage parlor, you might as well watch porn on Fun Love.

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